Axe Moose

In Time

2012-01-19T21:13:00.001-08:00

In Time
David S. Nicholson Jan 19, 2012

The years roll on and the folly and joy of youth are exchanged with the experience and pain of age. Those we loved and knew drift away or pass on. We find new friends and new ways to love, laugh and cry. A lifetime of hope, dreams and fears end with a time of great pain and the long dark night. In a lifetime after ours no one will know who you are, even if they heard or read about you. All of what you have is lost to the four winds. All the memories you treasured are gone forever. There is new life and it is just as yours was, a glimpse at a vast picture. In many life times nothing of your world will remain. In time not even mankind will exist. In time there are no more memories to be had.

Am I Still The Devil? LOL

2012-01-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

Wonder if I am still the devil in someones broken head for saying ,"hugs" when he was having a bad day?

Well I expected more for post #300 but there we are...

It's impossible to describe

2012-01-15T20:26:00.001-08:00

It's impossible to describe - I thought I knew what it was like when others told me. But there is no way to know and I hope you never know. I am so worried that I will not be able to leave her alone at home. Her mind is oh so out of it. She tells me things that are impossible to have happened and she sees things all the time. Some not so nice. It's to say the least a worse fear than cancer or death. I know how bad it is to see and hear things that are not real as it has happened to me. I will never have a time that I do not hear voices in my head or people talking about me. I am fine with it and it does not bother me. But to see her having this happen and she cannot understand it is not real hurts me worse than any pain I have ever had.

What About The Poor

2012-01-03T20:19:00.001-08:00

A lack of humanity is a waste of resources and the way to cause civil war. People will only be pushed so far until they push back. Human rights are ignored and the poor die for it. Government serves the rich and forgets about the rest.

Sushi House LOL

2012-01-01T18:31:00.001-08:00

Those Last Few Moments

2012-01-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

You may have more money than anyone else. You may have the admiration of millions of people. You may be able to get what you want with a word; anything you want is yours. But in those last few moments, you have nothing and you are alone. You pass and nothing comes with you. You pass and you become nothingness.

You have nothing but your faith. More people hate you than will talk to you. You don’t know where your next meal is. You are cold in the night. But in those last few moments, you have everything and you are not alone. You pass and you see the glory of eternal peace. You pass and are with those gone before you and you know his glory.

When you come before God will you know him?

2011-12-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

Ya know what keeps most people from knowing God these days? Greed... Things are what this world is about and no one remembers where they came from. They can walk down the street and never see the sun glinting of the fresh due on the lawn. They can see a person in pain on the street and walk past only thinking how disheveled he was. But if we let God show us the world we can see so much more than most people will ever know is there. The joy and the energy that we can get by serving Gods will is unmatched by any thing we can own or any simple pleasure that we can seek.

I know what you want to say... You want to saw what evil has been done for God be his followers. These people have never known God and when they stand before him they will fall in shame and weep, but it will be too late then. The good people of this world, those that do for others they will see God and know they are welcome.

One of them days.

2011-12-13T21:49:00.000-08:00

Oh man am I ever tired of crazy people and people who do nothing but want stuff from me. A life time of people wanting me to help them when they need it and when I need it nothing in return. I give and give then I vanish from their minds when I need a hand. All I get in return is ignored or my head bit off.

Someone tell me why I still care to help people? I do - but there is little in reward it seems. Still I will be there as always. But I some times think what is it worth.

Pain again.

2011-12-07T21:45:00.001-08:00

I am in a tone of pain. There is nothing that seems to help that does not make me a mindless slug. I was standing up yesterday and I heard this loud pop sound in my left hip and almost passed out from pain. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow. It was all I could do to get Mom to her chemo and back. It hurts so darn much. On top of all the other pain this is so unwelcomed and unwanted. I pray to God to give me the strength to carry on. I know he will give it to me, but right now I am in tears from the pain. I have put on a brave face all day in the online and offline worlds. Now it is time to share the pain with you and ask for your prayers. Just when I thought I was going to be a few bucks ahead I need to take cab to and from the doctors and most likely to and from the hospital. There goes my few extra bucks. But I am warm and fed and am never alone in my suffering. There is always Jesus by my side. For those who would say, “why does he not end your pain then”? I would have to say, you will never understand. Tank you lord for being there for me and hold this example to those who need it. I have wanted to vlog for a while but can’t find the words or the motivation. I have done some tags on YouTube but that is mindless and it is easy to hide the pain then. To do a vlog I would have to show more suffering than I want or I would have to lie. I don’t think I want to do either. Maybe I will vlog but I am not sure. Just pray that I am able to help my Mother, as she needs me.

Thank you – Dave.

Can people really think like this?

2011-12-05T16:06:00.001-08:00

Just saw this, "Welfare recipients are the laziest people you could possibly find. It has already been discerned that they are among the dumbest (See "The Bell Curve.")"Well I work more than full time taking care of my Mom - the person who wrote this no doubt would have stuck her in a home and left her to die years ago. As well I have an IQ of 191 - almost all the people I know on welfare are above average intelligence and well educated.I suppose I am bias and not part of the norm to say the least. It seems that a lot of people I know who deal with others on assistance say the same as above. From what I am told %90 don't need it, but use it - 10% have no choice. This can't be true as in my province 73% of people on welfare are permanently disabled in some manner. Oh and not "The bell curve" part - OMG, if you don't know what your talking about - just pull some terms out of your ass and hope for the best I guess...

Now not only does this fellow appear to be unable to differentiate the difference between workmens comp and welfare, he has no idea what the hell he is talking about. How the heck is anyone on the dole going to be driving a new car and watching satellite TV? This is well beyond the means of people making 5 times the money they are making. It's amazing what a few people will say when they get some beer or pot in then I would have to say in this case.

Peace and pray that this fellow be granted enough information to see reality.

Dave.

Quick Abstract

2011-12-05T08:58:00.001-08:00

Done with the font "Split Splat Splodge" A very simple way to make a quick abstract looking image or a background for text.

My Give A Shit Just Expired

2011-12-04T17:18:00.001-08:00

Playing with fonts and stuff in Paint Shop Pro...

For The Lord.

2011-12-02T23:31:00.001-08:00

T-Shirts From The Last While

2011-11-29T17:57:00.001-08:00

Good news but not the best - I will still be happy :)

2011-11-22T17:12:00.001-08:00

My 9 year old stalker kid can thumbs down this video as much as he wants, nothing changes. It's still wonderful news. It's still going to make me happy. She is still going to be around longer and the world is still a brighter place with her and the people who have shared their love with us in it. The actions of a childish and sad mind will take nothing from this event. The 9 year old will never have power over this moment or any other.

And in goes a letter.

2011-11-21T17:42:00.001-08:00

Sending this in with my annual review (even if it is 1.5 months early in being sent to me):

I would like to know what so little time has been given formy review and why it is almost 2 months early in arriving. With the long waittimes to get an appointment with a doctor in this city, I found this to be ofgreat inconvenience. Although I am able to get to see my doctor in a weeks’notice, this is the exception to the rule here.

The suspicious timing of this arriving on my birthday aside.I am dealing with a mother who has terminal lung cancer and an undeterminedamount of time to live. She needs me to be there for a great deal. Thedistraction and added stress of this fast tracked paperwork is ratherdistracting for the important task at hand.

Not so annual review.

2011-11-18T18:11:00.001-08:00

Note the date sent out in the first image. This is something that is sent out every 12 months. Well in this case 10 months... Also note how long I have to see a doctor and get back to them before my benefits are messed with. Being that I got this on my birthday is even more of a pleasure. Lets get back to the time frame shall we? Now I get my pay on the 28'th of this month this is due on the 1st. that means that in theory they can delay my benefits until after my rent is due. Think about that, also think why this was not sent out a lot sooner. Also think about how long it takes to see a doctor in this town when we are very low on doctors. Most people take at least 3 weeks to see a doctor. This is a good thing I could beg to get in on time. After all my doctor needs to fill in a form for them. I will be asking why this is being sent now instead of at the end of Dec. like it was last year. Oh yeah... The year before that it was sent in February. What the heck is going on here and how much did it cause the government to change things? Seems there is a lot of money being spent on this paperwork in in endless waves and not too much being spent on the clients. At best this was a not so well handled event and at worst harassment - but I think very much the first one. I also notice that the quality of paper has gone up since last year. How much did that take from the people that are supposed to be served here?

Photo play

2011-11-13T19:36:00.001-08:00

Laundry Room - It's Easy...

2011-11-11T19:54:00.001-08:00

This is the Schedule - Read it and don't be a cunt and do your wash in others times.

This is the lint trap - Clean it and don't be a cunt and leave it filthy for the next person.

Nov 5,6,7 in Photos

2011-11-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

I Appreciate Veteran

2011-11-08T18:18:00.000-08:00

Just Some Words

2011-11-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

Photo Desktops

2011-10-30T18:55:00.000-07:00

Here are some desktops for ya :) Standard then Wide formats...

An August Day In Photos

2011-10-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

A Walk Is Not Always Good For Ya

2011-10-10T00:33:00.000-07:00

Well took a 5 block walk and it almost did me in. Now thepain is way worse. I don’t know what I was thinking. But I did get some cool photos;still I should not have pushed it. The pain in my ankles is throbbing and thisis the day after. My knees are killing me and I need to finish a project. Willtake a while as I have to get up and move all the time. The nerve blockers arenot really working no more. I wonder what happen if I just stop taking them? Ishould ask the pharmacist if that is a good move. I can’t have a beer now andthen on these as well. Something about my heart stopping or going funny. Thehell if I want that to happen.

P.S. Haven't had even 1 beer in 6 months.

2011-10-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is what happened to Mom when someone did not think first. The person took off some tape on her arm and ripped a rather large piece out of her skin. There is an open wound there now. It also ripped down from where you see here to the far side. Like she does not have enough to worry about with stage 4 lung cancer.

She recently had a blood transfusion as well. This is due to the chemo killing off the hemoglobin in her body. She will need more in the future as well I am sure. All they can do now is try to get her to live longer. There is no hope of surviving this. We where told that the times they where treating her for lung infections it was actually cancer. There is no way to tell if she would have made it threw this if they knew sooner and I am not going to play that game. I need to concentrate on making her remaining time as good as it can be and not fighting a loosing battle with a fatally flawed system.

She smoked for 40 years or more and there is no wonder why this is happening. If you think the risk is worth it, your stupid in my mind. That being said, I took the risk. As well it's your choice to make, not mine. All I can say is this is not a death that I would want for anyone.

I could go on about our health care system, but there is no point. I am looking thew eyes that are tainted with what I want for my mother. I can't be objective in this matter, it's not possible. I also know very few of the facts in this matter. All I see is mom and I want her to live, but there is no way that is going to happen. It may not be soon, but it will happen. Anyone in my position that cares would be the same way.

Say a prayer for my mother and say one for me. I am thinking that I will be strong and I will stand tall. But the fact of the matter is I will fall and I will be in great pain. But this is not about me, this is about my best friend in this world, my mother. As the tears in my eyes fog out the words I type, the end of this blog is near. I will say a prayer for all the people who go threw this and their families tonight.

Peace - Dave.

I Turned Away Just To Find You

2011-09-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

I Turned Away Just To Find You.
David S. Nicholson Sep. 25, 2011

You demand that I love you and have taken so much from me.
You demand that I love you and have taken those I hold close to my heart.
You say worship me and I will lead you to riches and let me be poor.
I gave all I could and it was not enough for you.
I came to you on my knees and was ignored.
I gave all I had to give and nothing happened.
I turned from you in rage and anger.
I ran to the darkness of my own heart and was comforted by the silence.
There was only I and nothing else.
It was cold and dark and empty.
Then I saw your hand and took it.
Then I held your embrace and was warmed in your light.
The world was shown to me as it is and not how I wanted it to be.
You saved me from myself.
Now in this time of pain and suffering I have comfort.
Your people and your love hold me up when I want to fall.
I am yours and all I have is given to your glory.
Thank you oh my Lord.

On Top Of It All

2011-09-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

So I found myself needing refills on my prescriptions andhaving no refills. This is to say, I needed them to get the doctor to fax in refillsfor me. This was Friday and he did not fax. So I was out and they gave me 3days so that on Monday perhaps the job we expect a doctor to do will be done.Nope did not happen so now they have faxed him again and this time making surehe knows it’s urgent. I am not out of my medication that I desperately need. Ican only hope that today after not having any last night or this morning, hehad done his job and faxed it in. But I am not hopeful of this at all. He isthe worst doctor I have ever dealt with. Sad thing is I have changed back to myold doctor after he was ascent for a while. I have not gotten him to take overthe prescriptions though. This is something that may take a week or two to getdone as it takes that long to get to see him. By then I just may be in a verybade state. To top it off my Mother is in another city in the hospital and gravelyill. She may or may not make it out of the hospital and has heart problems anda MRSA infection. This is why I did not give the usual amount of time to getthis settled as I always have in the past. But when I came to the counter I gotattitude from the unthinking and uncaring pharmacist. To pretend you know whyafter a long time of doing it the right way, I am not doing it the right way –is to say the least stupid. It never ceases to amaze me how little some of theso called educated people understand the world around them. Now I have two bigthings to worry about, my Mom and my meds. Thank you so much to two people fornot thinking past your limited scope and doing the worst job possible. Nowsomeone tell me what I switched from Coop to Safeway for my drugs?

Mom is in the Hospital - Thank you LetsVlog

2011-09-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

Posted by: Takefive

Oh, Dave, you are in such pain and you are feeling despondent, but know that you are by no means alone in this. If I lived near you and you wanted me to I'd bring you some home cooked food to your liking and sit with you for awhile. We wouldn't even have to talk. God bless. {{{{ }}}}

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you very much. Hugs.

Posted by: knap radio

Only God Will call her home, She may have 20 more yrs, we dont know, But we have to know that we all go home, My thoughts are with you today and Mega Mega Prayers to you and Mom

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you very much my friend.

Posted by: pudden

Prayers coming to your Mom and you my Special friend!Hugs

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you very much. Hugs.

Posted by: Suja

Oh no, my thoughts and prayers are with you Dave. We are here to offer support, hang in there and know that we care. ((((hugs my friend))))

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you so much - hugs.

Posted by: TheQuiet1

I will keep ur mom and U in my prayers.

hug, Irene

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you very much.

Posted by: MadRadicalRad

Love and Prayers to both you and your sweet Mother Dave.

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you. I am so warmed by the response to this video.

Posted by: theloathlydaddy

You have my prayers, Dave, for you and your Mom. All the best, my friend.

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you - Peace.

Posted by: Xaves511

What Carlos said, Dave. And know that I will keep you and mom in my prayers. You know that miracles do happen - and your mother is strong - as I know you are. Hang in there. Keep us posted when you are up to it.

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you. It may be daily or not for a while. I don't know yet.

Posted by: CarlosTheCritic

omg dave. mega prayers and ultra hugs. remember: only god knows when our times come. and do not underestimate the power of prayers. keep us posted and try to take care of yourself during this trying time.

Posted by: AxeMoose

Thank you and I will try to take care.

This is what makes LetsVlog the best site on the internet. A quick and overwhelming support in my time of need. There are those who would talk trash about the site, but they will never know the love we share. This is in fact a one of a kind site. Thank you so much to all my friends from Mom and I, in our time of need. It's a small community but a strong one.

Lets Go To The Hockey Game!

2011-09-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

So customer parking only. One hour limit. No special even parking permitted. I thought that the multiplex was going to be the salvation of the downtown businesses. What is this? LOL

Who is paying for the security? I am told it is the multiplex... Well how strange this is how they save the businesses by not letting the hockey fans park in their lots and force out customers? Strange that. And well I was going to by a new living room set at that nice furniture place downtown, but it's all parked in. So I can't get to it. Off to Sears I guess, as there is always parking there. How is a bunch of people parking in front of your place until after you closed help you? Sigh... The brain dead thinking of the masses wins again.

So now if I need an ambulance like I did for Mom this morning, it has to park on the street and risk being hit by some tard going to the game. How wonderful that is! I wonder also how the noise will be when it lets out and I am trying to sleep? Will there be damage to the building I am in? Will some drunk piss on the windows of the nice old ladies down stairs from me? Will the front door take a beer bottle? After all they serve booze to these already worked up folks.

This is going to suck! Thank you council for putting it downtown, where I live.

State of the Building Report...

2011-08-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

So on Sunday the 28th of August, 2011 there is this sound of a crash and then yelling. It’s the guy in 21 and his company. This is time number two that this has happened. The last time he did not even think he did anything. So no surprise when he blamed this one on his girlfriend and her friend. The last time I called the cops and he made a threat to me, “If I see you in the hall your toast”. So I called threw the wall in response, “I will be out there in 10 seconds”. He never came out. I have that all on recording by the way.

This time I did not bother with the cops. They were of no use the last time and well many other times I and others called them – So why bother. But I am told that he is getting the boot. I sure hope so - and soon I hope. But more than likely it will be after the rent is paid for next month. You see if you boot someone with cause you don’t have to refund any rent for the time they are not in the apartment. This sounds all too much like something the owner would do.

All in all it’s just another day in the building. Now if we could just get half the people to stop slamming the doors all the time. This one person gives it a good hard bang when they come home from work. Must be a sucking kind of job. Oh well then there is next door on the other side of me that keeps going in and out all day and night and then running water in the bathroom two hundred times a day for a second or two. Makes me wonder if they are up to no good, or something. Come to think of it, their little biker friend that was revving the shit out of his loud ass bike was over to play – then poof a $2500 bike goes missing in the building. Hmmm...

All I can say is I wish I could win the lotto and get the hell out of here and take Mom with me. She does not deserve to be in a place as hot as hers. There is no AC on the ground floor after all. Sigh. Well at least I know there is a reward one day. That is when I am dead and off this world. God is with me in this walk of life and always will be.

Took Mom To The Hospital Again (Rant)

2011-08-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Stinky Purfume People (Rant)

2011-08-27T22:14:00.000-07:00

Storm Aug 14, 2011 Moose Jaw, Sask

2011-08-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

Cop arresting old guy on scooter

2011-08-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

He was shoplifting at the Safeway on 1st Ave. N.W.

Cutting back on online time.

2011-08-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

Just thinned out my watch list on RedBubble. I would love to have to time for all I had in it :( but I don’t… Also cut was a bunch of Facebook folks and YouTube subscriptions.

For someone with no job I seem to be busy. I love doing things for people but it hurts in the end – literally… Lots of joint pain.

Taking care of Mom is what I am doing most of the time. That is more important than online any day! I fear that I will be even bigger when she dies as I will be online all day every day. Well 1/2 the week anyways the rest I will be fixing things for people… Or at least sitting there with a coffee and saying, “do this… Now do this…” :)

I held you.

2011-08-03T23:04:00.001-07:00

I held you.
David Sheldon Nicholson
Aug, 04, 2011

I held you when you where sick.
I held you when you needed a laugh.
I held you when you where happy or sad.
I held you for a short time.
Then I let you go only for the grave.
I will see you again some day.

A Point Of Order

2011-08-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

Mom The Mall And Candles

2011-07-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

Vista Update

2011-07-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

Fixed this but man what the heck...

Don't push your atheism on me.

2011-07-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

And they say Christians are pushing what they believe on them. But this would not be pushing what you believe on us now would it? Time to grow up and stop vandalizing peoples property to try and make a statement that only 1 or 2 will notice; To top it off they just pass you off as a 9 year old punk with no brains. I so wish people would still spank their children for doing things like this. Instead that say, "what can I do a bout it" to the cops when they bring little but head home at 3am. I bet I know at least one site this little shit hangs out on... Sigh...

If God has never spoken to you, you have never stopped talking long enough to listen to him. If your prayers for a new Xbox are not answered, that does not mean he is not listening to you. My prayers for the content pain I am in to stop have not been answered in the way I wanted. But I have come to know it is for the best, as it makes me a good witness to God and has made me love people more than if I was not in pain. Some times the answer is no; just because your parents have never said that to you, does not mean it can't happen from someone who is responsible.

I hope for your sake that one day you will open you mind and not your mouth, then you may see what is in the realm of the possible and understand us. By the way, you don't need a book to tell you to hate - all you need is a spray can.

And yes little stalker boy I know what your going to say if you comment on this. Your obvious as well.

ginababy

2011-07-16T19:29:00.001-07:00

Sorry ginababy - Did not get to see your posts on video.ca - your profile and the comments where removed before the world got to see them... I can only imagine it was spam ass crap... Now if only YouTube would work so well.

Don't Let Your Children Get To My Size

2011-07-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

First I have to say, I realize how absurd this is every time I think it. But every time I see someone who is under weight I think, “Why don’t they eat something”. We are all prejudice in some manner – all of us. It’s normal sadly enough. But I would never say it, as I know the damage it would do and I know they may not be to blame and that there are many factors to consider. I think my dislike of the site of someone under weight is because I don’t like being over-sized. It’s called displacement of feelings. Words can hurt more than a fist to the face and on mass we never learned this for some reason as a culture. I don’t know why we can’t get past all the silly stuff and just love each other. But it will never happen I think. Humanity is this way now and has been for so long it’s not even conceivable. All I can say is that people who have felt the pain of rejection in their lives are way more likely to hurt others with their words. No one can control their thoughts, but we can control our words and actions and we must I think. I hope you don’t think less of me after this. Hugs.

Storm - Moose Jaw, Sask, Canada. June 29, 2011

2011-06-29T21:57:00.001-07:00

Storm over the Multiplex :)

YouTube WTF?

2011-06-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

OK not only is this the most annoying thing YouTube has ever done - not letting you get rid of the recommended channels stuff - It recommended me to myself... WTF? Man this thing is broken big time and this new format is exactly the worst thing I have ever seen on the web beside the virated web pages.

The Good Son And The Annoying Mother

2011-06-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

Strange Encounter

2011-06-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Moose Jaw Multiplex

2011-06-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

Moose Jaw Multiplex construction to the date of Jun 21, 2011. A $63,000,000 hockey and curling rink. 4000 seats and only a hand full of parking spots. Lord help anyone who wants to visit us during a hockey game.

Random Links

2011-06-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

Online Conversion - Morse Code Conversion
Complete list of Facebook Chat Emoticons
Jigsaws Galore on Facebook
Sukanen Ship Pioneer Village and Museum
blip
LetsVlog
FAIL Blog
94.5 Jack FM
video.ca

8 Bit Games - Back In The Day

2011-06-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

Scooter and Anny

2011-06-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

Better off without you :)

2011-06-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

(Just found this but-hurt rant - thought I would post it)

So you're the defender of free speech are you? So why is it you get bent out of shape when someone says something you don't like? Why do you let people jump all over others when it is you job to make sure that does not happen?

Well I am at it, what makes you think it is OK to stuff your cane in a woman's vagina till you make her bleed? Then you brag about this disturbing act. Man you need to learn some respect. I don't care if she wanted this or not, grow up and think what you could be doing to her.

How many have called you friend only to have you turn your back on them when they do not bend to your petty will? How often has the thought of violence turned you on in such a dark manner? Who are you to judge what people say when you cry free speech?

You're not a man; you're an aggressive child in a man's body. You're the one thing in this land that keeps us from peace and understanding. You're what is wrong with the situation.

Have a nice life with your vale of power. Have a nice life with your destructive ways. Have a nice life with others blood on your hands.

The world is a better place without your kind. The birds sing more clear now that you're not around. The sky is sunnier now that you went away.

Peace I wish you, but I know you will never know what that is.

Try to find the funny in those who used to annoy the crap out of you

2011-06-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

Some people just never know their limitations intellectually. These same folks tend to think they know the answers to everything. My mind is filled with examples of this behavior in real life and online. Online being like real life, only amplified in all aspects. But that is off topic a bit.

So I am out at Smitty’s on the north service road having coffee with my friend Dale. He is as always talking about his job and how it sucks and how there are all too many people driving that need to be off the road. This is normal for most truckers though. But then half way through these two men sit in the both behind me and start to talk. At this time Dale is eating his supper and our conversation is on hold. So the guy right behind me starts to talk about someone called “Dave” that is on the dole and how he “says he is disabled”. He goes on to talk about him having knee problems and so on. Being this has a definite parallel to my life, I start to wonder how this guy knows me and why he sat behind me to say this stuff – further I am wondering if he is “messing with me”. Well just at this point he mentions knee surgery and I now know he is not talking about me. Go figure, me off all people think someone is talking about them. LOL. The guy starts telling the other person that this guy has been on welfare for 10 years and wants to be on “permanent disability”. Then he says, “But if that happens he will have to pay back all the money to welfare”.

You know disability is a complex issue and I know someone on permanent disability with the federal folks. He became disables on the job and thus was granted this pleasure. Most of the people who are disabled are on welfare as they are the ones that look after the ones that are not covered by workman’s comp. Now I have looked for ways of getting more money out of the system in any legal manner. There is no way to go from the provincial layer to the federal layer or you would not qualify for the provincial layer. There are also two levels to the province wide coverage. There is the Saskatchewan Assured Income for Disability (SAID) and there is the normal welfare disability. The majority of people on disability are on the second one. It is hard to get on the SAID program as you have to be very messed up physically or mentally to qualify and need to be in a care home. You can be disabled to the point it is impossible to hold work and still not qualify for SAID. More than 70% of people on assistance in Saskatchewan are disabled and will never be off assistance until they get old enough for the Guaranteed Income Supplement.

So it is in fact impossible to go from welfare to “federal disability” and if you could by some miracle, then you would not have to pay back the welfare money as it would not be paid retroactively on the federal level. This alone proves that the fellow behind me is lacking in understanding but wants to be seen as a fountain of information.

Then comes the second part. Game 5 of the Stanly Cup Finals is on in the background and the other one asks is he thinks Vancouver will take the cup. So he explains how that it is all “rigged and the outcome is decided before the season starts”. His explanation pivots on the fact that “there is too much money in the game for it not to be rigged”. Well I am not going to ever start with how silly this is.

Round three comes into play. He mentions posting on the Moose Jaw Forum and mentions a post he put on this last while. So I looked it up and sure enough all the crap he spouts on there is to hear himself type and try and look big. Oh man this fits the profile of the average heavy poster on the Forum. This is one of the many reasons I have not been on there in many months now. While I was looking around I noticed that nothing has changed and fact or reality has no meaning to many of them. I am so glad that I am not part of that so called community anymore. It drags you down mentally and morally. But then the vast majority of forums do. I have been on Christian forums that have degenerated into stupidity and arguments as well. It is the way of a forum. As all forums, the local one has a moderator that sees himself as a god and this time has the name to match. LOLS. Personal relations got me temporally punted from that forum and even know now I can post, I have no desire to do so.

With apologies for the above diversion, I can say that folks of this man’s nature are all the same. They even have the same speech patterns for some reason (for the most part). As soon as they start to talk, the tone of voice can give them away before their words do. Maybe it is a conspiracy that conspiracy folks talk similar to each other. Oh heck this was too much fun to write.

These days all I want to do is share some kind words with people in a friendly online community like LetsVlog.com and be supportive when I can. I get so much more out of this than trying to be a political war hero on some site that is half way to anarchy. Even on YouTube I tend to rant only with a humorous nature to them that should be obvious to many. The hypocrisy of the majority of the rants shows threw in spades. I always leave comments on videos and I always have something good to say. If I can’t say something good I don’t comment. Being there for someone when they need someone to reach for them is its own reward and can’t be matched arguing or proving your right.

Huggles and prayers all. Love and Light always. And try to find the funny in those who used to annoy the crap out of you.

The Catholic's Are Commig...

2011-06-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

As always, those that spread hate the most (Catholic? Church) get offended the most when someone hates them back. They always scream "rights" when they say words of true hate, then it is "their right" to not be offended. The similarity to terrorist groups is obvious to me. It's our way or death. The Catholic Church is so close to that mentality, it frightens me.
-AxeMoose

@AxeMoose Hi, Dave :)

My brother's first wife was very strongly Roman Catholic. As far as I knew, she? never hated anyone. In fact, she went shopping in Hillcrest (San Diego's gay district) a lot.

As to this video, looks like the problem isn't gay people. It's too much alcohol. Anybody could get out of hand if the main fuel is beer or stronger stuff, right?

Don't want the problems? Drop the beer sponsorship. Easy :)
-KirneH004

@KirneH004 Not all Catholics are hate mongers. Just a vocal few of them. Personally I find the advert offensive. But it is their right to do this kind of thing. And yes a little less of the drink may be a good thing. Still it always amazes me that people who claim free speech when they say? things other don't like say it is their right not to be offended by others. We don't have that right. People will be offended no matter what. Everything offends someone.
-AxeMoose

@AxeMoose

It is also within our rights to protest and complain.

If there were a commercial mocking homosexuality there would be a national uproar. But? attacking Christianity is apparently okay.
-Reazzurro90

@Reazzurro90 I see hate as hate. It does not matter who is spewing it. I just find it so funny that people who spread hate towards someone for loving someone of the same sex will scream about "rights" and be offended when they are mocked. When a gay friend starts to spout off about religion I tell them the same thing, "that they are out of line". We all have the right to love? who we want and to believe in a God or not to believe in one. I believe in God and I also think Gays have rights too.
-AxeMoose

@AxeMoose

Yeah whatever blah blah blah.

It's not the Christian community that is full of hate, it's the gay community. Anyone that has to resort to using crucifixes as sex toys and mocking the Last Supper has lost any kind of moral high ground they assumed to previously have.

There has never been a comment by? the Roman Catholic Church that has been anywhere near as bad as what happened at this fair. You complain about them saying 'homosexuality is sinful'? Grow up. You're a man, damn it.
-Reazzurro90

@Reazzurro90 So when did I say that was the right thing? to do? I said hate is wrong no matter who does it. Your obvious hate of gays is wrong and so is the hate of some gays toward religion and God.

The bible is a book written by men and should not be used as an excuse to cause harm or to hate. The fact that many lash out in the form you mentioned is also wrong. So is harming children in the care of the church but we will not go there - you may not be able to take it.
-AxeMoose

@Reazzurro90 Glad? to see your not being a child over this as well... Keep it mature please...
-AxeMoose

@AxeMoose

You clearly are blinded by your ideology. First off, the RCC doesn't consider the Bible "written by men." It considers it directly inspired by God, and therefore, the teaching on homosexuality is legitimate. Not only that, but the 'Sacred Tradition' the Church holds dear also confirms it. It is an ancient teaching, the one on homosexuality. Disapproving of homosexuality isn't hate. Go to Iran if you want to see hate? against gays. You should consider yourself lucky to live in the West.
-Reazzurro90

@Reazzurro90 Every thing you seem to be saying is sparked of hate. You can not tolerate that I do not think the same as you and have to prove you are right. To say that it is truth as it has been handed down for many many years is silly at best. "tradition"? in some places for thousands of years is to spill blood of animals for God. I am sure you do not see this as the right path. Yes because you are raised to be who you are, you will never see past your views. Further talk is of no point...
-AxeMoose

Well just look at his videos to see if he is the voice of hate or not... Keep smiling and remember God loves all of us - no matter who we choose to love.

LetsVlog.com

2011-05-26T19:04:00.001-07:00

Children These Days

2011-05-26T17:05:00.002-07:00

Back Bacon

2011-05-26T17:05:00.001-07:00

Sad News But In The Right Frame Of Mind

2011-05-26T17:04:00.001-07:00

Anny

2011-05-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

Lazy Cabbage Rolls

2011-05-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

2 cups Jasmine Rice.
1 Large Yellow Onion chopped.
1 Medium Cabbage chopped.
1 Package Bacon
1 lb Lean Ground Beef.
2L can of Tomato Juice.
Salt, Fresh Pepper, Franks hot or extra hot to taste.

Cook diced bacon half way, then add beef. Brown nicely then drain most of the fat but leave some in. Add rice, Cabbage, Onion, Spices and tomato juice. Simmer till rice is cooked well and cabbage is done (this will be different times depending on how you like the cabbage).

Driving North On 9th N.W.

2011-05-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

Got to be wondering

2011-05-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Got to be wondering how many times I need to listen to someone yell and bang around. Got to be wondering why this does not seem to matter to the owner of the building. Got to be wondering how insane the person I am listening to is. Got to be wondering why he is always so angry and violent. Got to be wondering if I will ever be away from people like this. It seems I will always be listening to some nut job or a bunch of drunken good for nothing punks that just want to party all night. For 10 years I have had this in my life and now that I am in a supposed better class of building, I have to wonder why I am listening to it. My biggest thought is what is his malfunction, why all the anger and all the violent tendencies? I do not understand why people want to stay mad all the time. It is much more easy to be happy as it takes far less energy. He spent a lot of time slamming the door today, must have been 8 times in a row. Now the yelling and the banging on the walls. Never peace I guess in a way – it’s good I have peace of mind. The peace that comes only from God.

"community"

2011-04-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

It does not seem that the will for a strong "community" will ever overcome peoples desire to be in clicks. Also eye candy will always win over intelligence and so will drama. I find it strange that most people will not take time to say something nice to people who always have something nice to say. But as soon as there are enough people a "community" will break into groups.

Not A Grate Day.

2011-04-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well I don't know what brings this stuff on but I would like to know... Mom and I went to the eye doctor to get get eyes looked at. By the time we where out of there the pain was getting bad. I popped 2 T3's and it kind of did something. So we went over for supper and by the time we where done there it was massive pain. Man mom was having trouble breathing so she went to sit down and I stood in line to get a pie at the store (the cafe is in the basement of the store) and people where asking me if I was OK or not... By the time I got to sit by Mom on the bench I was almost passing out. So I call a cab and it is a mini van... Sigh... It is hard as hell for me to get in and out of these things as Mom needs to be in the front seat. Oh man, I guess T3's are candy - they don't do anything much for me. I see the doctor again on the 4th and I am going to ask that this be investigated. I am fine some days and others it is indescribable pain.

Food Addiction

2011-04-14T19:26:00.001-07:00

6 Under Rated DVD's

2011-04-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

Just a thought...

2011-04-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Strangely enough a tone of people in my city know I am on YouTube... I do not know why, but to this day people point and say "Moose Jaw Dave" - now I never called myself this on YouTube or anyplace else... So it's kind of strange. The best thing is I am sure not many of them have watched any of my videos - they just know they are there...

Look the right wing speaks stupidly...

2011-04-09T22:35:00.001-07:00

The best thing is I have faced physical violence for standing up for gay rights. I was stabbed for speaking my mind. And I am a coward for not standing with someone who condones violence against someone they don't agree with? The topic if this thread was how it is a "violation of free speech" to arrest someone for threatening to shoot someone they did not agree with. When the comment was made that we need to go back to the law of the gun like in the 1800's - I could not stand by this person any more. This is the reason that the USA is such a violent land and has no hope of equal rights for all ever. They say that all races are equal then they enslave most minorities with poverty and feed them crap that makes them turn to crime as a way of life. But the aptitude of equality has some how caused 9/11 and the raping of children by the catholic church... To use the term impudence and narrow mindedness in this light is to say that Hitler had a good idea... This is in fact the very save voice of hate I can not tolerate and nor should any thinking person.

A Two Play

2011-04-08T13:25:00.000-07:00

God The Universe And Me:

Relax and Enjoy Life:

A Day With Dale And Dave - In The Truck

2011-04-08T13:24:00.001-07:00

Another Day And More Pain

2011-04-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well Mom has appointments Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. I don’t see the Dr. till Thursday. So there is something to do every day this week but today... I wanted to rest and try to get the pain in my back and legs down a little. Can’t do it though – Mom wants to go shopping! I can’t seem to instill in her how much pain I am in – some times I am white with pain and she don’t see it... Others will look at me as if to say, “man are you alright” – but Mom don’t see it. I know she needs me, but what the heck... Every day? God I hope the Doctor gives me something that will work for the pain. When she called and told me she wants to go shopping I literally felt sick... The worst thing is I am trying hard to drop some weight, and things like this make me want to eat till I pass out. Why can’t I make her see what is going on with me. She seems to get it, then she does this... Man I fell like hell right now and this does not help at all. I feel like screaming and tossing a chair out the window. But that won’t fix anything. Sigh... Time to kill my liver with some Tylenol and go to Moms I guess...

Peace – Dave.

Are We Born This Way

2011-04-01T22:33:00.001-07:00

Free Landers

2011-03-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

They tell us it is the land of the free. But you’re only free to be just like the rest. If you do not buy into the mass marketing of culture and religion then you are one of them. If you are one of them that it is the job of all good free Landers to hunt you down and make you pay for your crime of individuality. Here love is something you buy and God is something you sell. The pusher man tells you what to think and the dead minds teach your children to listen to violence and drugs. We are the land of the free but watch your backs or they come in the night to make you vanish. If they think you know something then water-boarding is the new hand shake. United in nations under the dollar they will fly over your lands and make you submit to democracy. A Starbucks on each corner is the price of your collective souls. You think the criminals that roam the streets are angry and full of hate; then you have not seen the cops yet. One man said once that one day a good rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets. The only thing washing the streets here is the blood of the innocent and the souls of our youth. The man on the white horse caries a big stick and will put it where he wants to put it. The leaders are no more than a side show to the freak show that is our way of life. The leaders are lead by the monster of greed and money. One man stands shoveling money into the furnace of corporate America while the other man tosses the babies of the third world in. We stick it in their face that we have it all and they have nothing. Even the poor here have more than a family there. God help them if they have anything we want; then it is holly war on them for all they have. We fill they skies with death and warm the days and cool the nights with storms of discontent. For the love of God we tell people they are going to hell if they do not stand in awe of the power of a handful of men. Praise the Lord and then put your money in the plate. I know it goes to someone who does not need any more, but hell a token penny here and there will trickle down to those who have nothing and we will say we did everything we can to make them better people. We marginalize the radicals that yell God Hate Fags then we stand behind them and tell the Gay they can’t get married in the eyes of our God. Who is out god anyways, the last time I looked it was someone sitting at a desk in an opulent office pushing papers that will crush the lives of so many all in the name of the bottom line. If you can’t buy it, it is not part of the covenant of the corporations or should I say Gods. Those few who know what and who God really is will be passed off and condemned to eternal hell in the name of the dollar. Those who want to lend a hand or a kind word to all around them no matter who or what they are, will forever burn in the depths of hell. Look inside your book of magic words and tell me if it has not one line of hate; not one line of murder. No I did not think so, yet you scream that you are his and he is your master. The reality is you don’t even know him and when you die you will face him for the first time. All hail the war machine as we feed it oil and lives from the Middle East. All hale the downfall of humanity. If you think these words are mad, then you’re one of the many and you will never understand the very few of us. I pray for you every night. I pray for your children and the future of Mother Earth. I pray for this and not for more of what I don’t need. And all though you see us few as evil and insane we love you all. Hugs Free Landers and many prayers to you.

Going off about moral codes and manipulation threw religion

2011-03-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

That long night.

2011-03-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

I held him as he cried that long night. I told him he was going to be alright and it was will be over soon. Before that he was crying out to God to make the many demons go from him. I could see his pain and wanted it all to end. I wanted to make him know he was loved and God had not left him. He yelled out that he was lost in an endless plague of pain and suffering.

The voices told him to do things that he knew where wrong and he asked me why would they not be quiet and where was God in all of this. I told him he was right with us and he loved us. I told him he would not abandon any of his children. Then he told me that God was telling him to hurt himself; to do unspeakable things. I told him this is not God talking and it is not a demon. I told his this was his own fears and dark feelings that we all have inside.

He cried for help many times that night and I was there for him and so was God. In the end it all came down to the fact I was alone and he was me. If God did not allow me to see myself from out of my own perspective I don’t know if I would be here today.

Later when I was out of the hospital and alone. I questioned God and thought he did not exist. I pushed away and knew for a moment that there was no God and only I was there that night for myself. Then when I was OK with the thought of no God – it happened. He reached to me once again and showed me his everlasting love. People quoting Jeremiah 29:12 all day – it was everywhere. I went for coffee with a friend and there where 12 people all with wooden crosses around there necks sitting there – a 13’th man came up to them, looked at me and said hello to me – then sat with them. I came home and someone from my past called me. We talked and he told me he was now a pastor. In the day he was one bad ass person. We talked for a long time and he told me many things.

When I was alone I looked into the darkness and said out loud, “I hear you lord” and it felt like I was floating. For a moment there was no pain and I was at peace completely. All I can say now is thank you for being with me when I needed you. I know your hand was on mine and I know you have changed me in many ways. I don’t know who I will be when I am done looking around at what you have to show me. But I know you will never be far from me. Thank you Jesus and I understand so many things now.

Storm Mar 11, 2011

2011-03-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Depression You Can Win

2011-03-16T19:59:00.002-07:00

Mom is doing well :)

2011-03-16T19:59:00.001-07:00

LOL

2011-03-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

OK strange on... I closed the blog and email account and youtube account for gaymoosejaw a couple of years ago as the project was going nowhere. So I just did a Google and found the blog is there again somehow. I have no idea how to close it as the email account linked to it is dead so there is no way to log onto it. LOL Oh well...

Out People

2011-03-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

T-Shirt on Redbubble:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/mjart66/t-shirts/6887803-1-out-people

Wide Desktop:

Standard Desktop:

The Police Where Here Again...

2011-03-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

Once again the police came to knock on the door of apartment #21. In the past month and a half the cops have been here quite a lot looking for him. I so with they had booted him out the time he was yelling and screaming in the halls that night. His personality seems to be one of someone who is deeply disturbed. When he was so drunk and loud that night, the manager was talking with him and he was all over the place emotionally. First he was mild and meek then he was loud and aggressive. Later he was completely out of control and threatening. Several people heard him make a threat to me that night and I recorded it – you can find that 2 posts back from this one.

We pay a lot of money to be here and they want people to think it is a nice building to stay in. For the most part this is true. No one else in here has a problem with anyone. But #21 is the odd man out. He seems to think that intimidation and violence solves problems instead of making new ones. He does not belong and the sooner he is out of here the better.

One of the others on my floor tells me he is up on charges from getting in a fight in Swift Current. I can imagine this to be true very easily. His mannerisms are that of a 3 year old throwing a tantrum when he does not get his way. He needs to be out of here and away from the good folks that live in this building if you ask me. It is always trouble to mix quiet good people and someone who is aggressive, out of control and loud.

This time the cops came because he did not show up for work and they were worried about his safety. Why all the other times where they here for him though? Also I am wondering how stable a person he is, if he keeps getting into trouble like this and acting in such an erratic manner. The threat from his downright criminal minded manner is obvious to all of us. I am a big man but do not like violence. Perhaps I could hold my own, but I am disabled and this is most likely not the case. What of the little old ladies that live here like my mother? They are in their 70’s and 80’s and can’t stand up to someone like this. They would be to say the least injured by his attack. None of us need this in our lives. Just the thought of a violent and out of control person in our midsts is off putting too many of us.

Mixed Bag Of Vlogging

2011-03-07T07:40:00.001-08:00

Oh Princess

2011-03-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

Privacy Issue from the Hospital

2011-02-26T09:38:00.000-08:00

So got this in the mail on Feb 25th 2011. It is a survey from the Moose Jaw Union Hospital. That's cool, and I will fill it out and send it in. The only thing is, it came from a company in Ontario, not the hospital.

So tell my why they gave my name and some of my heath information to a company in Ontario? There is this thing called the privacy act here in Canada. It keeps them from doing things like this... Sigh...

Now I am not one to care who know what about me, but this is something that a lot of people would be angry with if the realized it happening. I think I just may get hold of my MLA and ask her why the heck this happened...

Oh well what can you expect I guess? This is the same place that called Mom to tell her she had a CT scan coming up when she was not yet home from the hospital. Then the woman on the phone got all bitchy with Mom for missing the appointment she knew nothing about. How silly is that? First you have to know that Mom has no voice mail and all that show up on her phone is the number for the switchboard when someone calls from the hospital. So how the hell is she supposed to know who called? As well they gave her nothing at the hospital to say this was to happen. Oh man - what next? The things that have disappointed me about the Moose Jaw Union Hospital in this last while are too many to list.

Storm Jan 17, 2011

2011-02-24T16:38:00.001-08:00

4X4 In The Snow In Saskatchewan

2011-02-06T10:27:00.000-08:00

This is out at the road to the scout camp here in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada.

Can you say stupid person?

2011-02-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

So these are posted anonymously of course. Oh look my 10 year old YouTube stalker found my blog. Oh now LOL. Removed them from the original posts but they will live on here as a testament on how people need to prove how stupid they are. The second one tells it all – Just look at that one and you can tell this is trash at best LOL. As I sit here trying not to fall off my chair laughing I but this person with the mind of a 10 year old thinks he is getting the better of me. OMG LOL. You have just made so many people laugh at you ignorant and underdeveloped you are that it is funny as hell. Please do post more and remember to hide behind a computer monitor as you have no balls to show your face. When you said you had a wife there were tears rolling down my eyes I laughed so hard. Holly shit you made my day.

Hugs love and rainbows there little kid.

Mom is back in the hospital

2011-02-04T16:23:00.000-08:00

Well Mom is back in the hospital and not doing too bad, but still not in great shape. She may have had a small heart attack and her COPD is getting worse. This may be the time to face some hard options for the both of us. She does not want to be in a care facility and I don't want her to be as well; but the situation may be to that point.

My strongest wish is that she is able to get well enough to be on her own again, but I just don't know at this time. It is hard for me to take care of her and I can't do many things that may need to be done.

Peace, Love and Prayers - Dave.

Mom is Home but a bit confused

2011-02-04T16:17:00.000-08:00

Positive Response from the hospital

2011-01-31T23:40:00.000-08:00

#21 Drunk And Angry

2011-01-29T08:37:00.000-08:00

Nurses don't seem to be able to think like us (rant)

2011-01-29T08:36:00.000-08:00

Hockey not health care? This is what happens...

2011-01-27T21:17:00.000-08:00

This is the hospital room my Mom is in at the Moose Jaw Union Hospital. It is such a good thing that 65% of people voted to spend money on a hockey rink instead of a hospital. Now my Mom is in a place that is like the third world surrounded by people who don't want to do their jobs.

Three times she pushed the buzzer to get someone to empty the commode for her. They told her they would get to it later. 10 hours later I was there and whiped out the camera and asked a nurse to empty it and she did. Good thing they do their jobs so well. Sigh... When you need to threaten like that to get them to help a woman who can't walk on her own, what can you say about them?

I have never been a fan of the people who worked there, but this is out of this world messed up! She has infection in her lungs and heart. I am afraid to leave her with these people. She needs a lot of help and they don't seem to be doing much in my mind. for the price of one of them they can have 2 care aids to do the grunt work - so why are they not getting a lot more of them and less nurses?

It is absurd at best...

Part 1:

Part 2:

Ear pain and the lot...

2011-01-22T20:14:00.001-08:00

So I had a lot of pain in my ears. The right one was the worst. I got these drops that where recommended to me and put them in. Turns out they make the wax in your ears expand. So I could not hear anything at all from the left side and the right only a little. I freaked out at this and went to the hospital. He looked at it and told me my ears where completely plugged with wax and he could not help me there. I called the doctor and they told me to use some drops for 3 days then come in – well they gave me the 24th as the day to come in. This was too long, so I did the drops and went to a walk in clinic. The doctor there flushed my ears and a quarter inch long plug of wax came out of both sides. You see I had never had them flushed before and I had been using q-tips on them for a very long time until I found out not to use them. But it was too late by this time. This is the night after the day I got them flushed and I can hear well, but they still hurt – the right one the worst still. I am going in on Monday the 24th to see my regular doctor to get him to fill out a form I need once a year for disability. I think I will have him look at them once again and see what he has to say about them.

Other than that I have had some pain in my back for the longest time and there is no way I can be that does not hurt my back. It is not great pain, but annoying all the same. My knee that God has not hurt me for the longest time unless I sit for too long in one spot and don’t get up. As for finding a new Doctor as I don’t like this one, I guess that is out of the question as there is no one taking new people. Sigh, so I am stuck with someone who does not know the meaning of the word pain. Sigh. So that has been my last week or two in a nutshell.

In The Snow In Moose Jaw

2011-01-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

A Card In The Making

2011-01-08T09:24:00.001-08:00

Pain, Family and Love

2010-12-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how little people are able to handle the topic of I am in a lot of pain. I recently did a vlog on how I was in a lot of pain and I got messed with once again by disability. This was on Christmas Eve when I posted it by the way. I was almost mad with pain it hurt so much. I got almost no response at all. What I did get was a PM from the owner asking me to take the video down as I used the term, "Merry Fucking Christmas" in it. He I am sure was offended being that he is deeply religious and all. He almost became a Catholic Priest once you know. I took it down, but not because he was offended – but because I was over the top and did not want to be seen that way on this particular site.

It often comes down to the fact that a lot of people cannot seem to handle being told things they can’t relate to. They become very put off at times by this as well. It is not like they don’t have any sympathy for you, it is just they have no way to understand it and they fear it happening to them. So they just ignore it or they try to change the topic.

The video was also posted to YouTube and I left it up there. I don’t hold back anything on that site and tend to just say shit on there. I got a lot of response on that site as a lot of people that watch me there tend to have been in my situation many times. It is amazing to see how much of what I have had happen to me has happened too many I know. It seems that the people who have been threw the most pain, poverty and crap in life either turn into bitter minded criminal types or the best people you would ever want to meet.

I did have a strange one happen though. I got a PM from someone on YouTube that has a lot more wrong with him than I do. It seems it was a competition to him or that he wishes to trivialize what happened to me because it is worse for him. I am sorry for what has happened to this unfortunate fellow, but in reality my pain was real and the fear of maybe not being able to pay the rent on time is also real. This is no less important to me or painful to me because someone else has it worse than I do. It is amazing how many people will say something stupid like "it could have been much worse". Yes it could have been, but my pain is still real and you can not relate to it obviously.

So on the light side, I got some nice things and had a wonderful time with family and friends. I received a Tea set with some wonderful tea in it; Some Greek spices and a cook book; and $50 from my Mom; I have food in the apartment and plenty of it. My pain is still here but managed for now; It is warm, safe and dry in here; I am loved be many wonderful people. So it was a wonderful Christmas after all. Oh and I was deeply reminded of why it is Christmas.

To end I would like to say, "Thank you Jesus" and "hugs and love to you all".

Something Short.

2010-12-12T23:24:00.000-08:00

I can very much relate to the longing for being something you are not and to want nothing more than a silent lonely death. But I overcame and am now what I thought I had lost. I found hope inside - deep inside. Now I wish nothing less than to give this gift to others.

Peace and Love - Dave.

Moms in the Hospital.

2010-12-05T15:39:00.000-08:00

Mom's in hospital (Dec 04, 2010)

Mom Still In The Hospital (Dec 05, 2010)

Mom Update Dec 07, 2010

LetsVlog.com

2010-12-02T11:43:00.000-08:00